This is such a great post, thank you! This is encouraging me to think about organizing lower-lift events and /or rituals, thank you! I really like the idea of "doing life with my friends" vs "catching-up with my friends on my life" too! Thanks again!
Yes yes yes. We all definitely need more low-lift, ‘nothing’ time with each other. The irony being that so many people want exactly this, but are sitting around waiting for someone else to initiate it.
I miss the teenage hangs where you’d just go to someone’s house and spent the afternoon / whole day just listening to music, chatting, and dossing about. Maybe nipping to the shops for snacks at some point.
Teenage hangs, yes! No doubt harder to achieve with the responsibilities of adulthood, but it comes back to that thing about just wanting to do life with someone we chatted about way back — the grocery run, the cowork, the waiting in line. Low lift, high intimacy 🫶
This is exactly what I have been pondering and craving for ages, Madeleine! Thank you so much. I found my heart nodding throughout in agreement. I don't suppose you have written about the vulnerability it takes to reach out to folks? My heart wants to create these connections, and then I'm immediately overwhelmed by logistical obstacles and, yeah, my constant tango with vulnerability, being seen, and such...
Ooo, such a great question Leah! The "friend soup" piece I wrote recently touches on this vulnerability somewhat, but it's certainly ripe for delving into further.
I think what helps me personally is knowing that other people are waiting for invitations, too. Sometimes it can be hard to decipher whether or not someone is eager but just busy, or simply not eager! This is a theme I'm going to explore in next week's essay 🫶
Basically you are describing Shabbat. Friday dinner and Saturday lunch with family and friends, every week, phones off, nowhere to rush off to afterwards, except maybe a Saturday afternoon nap. Meals are optionally preceded by synagogue services and receptions where you can socialize with acquaintances and familiar faces in an unstructured, no pressure environment, and maybe meet new people to invite to said meals. See http://www.sabbathmanifesto.org or https://www.globaldayofunplugging.org/ideas-search-collection/2021/11/9/hostshabbatdinner for a good framework.
This is such a great post, thank you! This is encouraging me to think about organizing lower-lift events and /or rituals, thank you! I really like the idea of "doing life with my friends" vs "catching-up with my friends on my life" too! Thanks again!
Beautifully observed, David! Here's to more life-doing with friends! 🫶
Yes yes yes. We all definitely need more low-lift, ‘nothing’ time with each other. The irony being that so many people want exactly this, but are sitting around waiting for someone else to initiate it.
I miss the teenage hangs where you’d just go to someone’s house and spent the afternoon / whole day just listening to music, chatting, and dossing about. Maybe nipping to the shops for snacks at some point.
And making a ritual around low-lift hangs 🤌🏻
Teenage hangs, yes! No doubt harder to achieve with the responsibilities of adulthood, but it comes back to that thing about just wanting to do life with someone we chatted about way back — the grocery run, the cowork, the waiting in line. Low lift, high intimacy 🫶
dolce far niente
🫶
This is exactly what I have been pondering and craving for ages, Madeleine! Thank you so much. I found my heart nodding throughout in agreement. I don't suppose you have written about the vulnerability it takes to reach out to folks? My heart wants to create these connections, and then I'm immediately overwhelmed by logistical obstacles and, yeah, my constant tango with vulnerability, being seen, and such...
Ooo, such a great question Leah! The "friend soup" piece I wrote recently touches on this vulnerability somewhat, but it's certainly ripe for delving into further.
I think what helps me personally is knowing that other people are waiting for invitations, too. Sometimes it can be hard to decipher whether or not someone is eager but just busy, or simply not eager! This is a theme I'm going to explore in next week's essay 🫶
Basically you are describing Shabbat. Friday dinner and Saturday lunch with family and friends, every week, phones off, nowhere to rush off to afterwards, except maybe a Saturday afternoon nap. Meals are optionally preceded by synagogue services and receptions where you can socialize with acquaintances and familiar faces in an unstructured, no pressure environment, and maybe meet new people to invite to said meals. See http://www.sabbathmanifesto.org or https://www.globaldayofunplugging.org/ideas-search-collection/2021/11/9/hostshabbatdinner for a good framework.
Thanks for sharing — there's certainly a lot of inspiration for connection to be found in various religious and secular practices 🫶
Keeping up! Love this and grateful for the rebirth of a social life with friends. It’s a joy to read!
It's a delight to be sharing again — thank you for being here Neema 🫶