On reframing people-pleasing

Featuring Natalie Lue and Holly Whitaker

In this episode I’m asking, how can we reframe people-pleasing and be okay with disappointing others?

A people-pleaser can be defined as a person who feels a strong urge to placate or please others, even at their own expense. They may say yes when they want to say no. Put other people’s needs ahead of their own. Or place their value in what other people think.

I wanted to delve into this behaviour not to admonish it, but rather understand it more because I think it encapsulates a lot of tensions and misunderstandings.

To help unravel the tensions, we’ll explore more about where people-pleasing comes from, how it prevents intimacy, and what we can do to reframe it.

In the episode, you’ll hear snippets from:

• Author and artist

  Natalie Lue
  of
  On Knowing Yourself

• Writer and author

  Holly Whitaker
  of
  Recovering

Below, paid supporters of the podcast and this newsletter can read a bonus summary of four approaches for reframing people-pleasing plus episode notes.

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There is a LOT of juicy stuff in this issue below—quotes, poems, further links, helpful snippets. Enjoy!

Four antidotes for people-pleasing